


The Greatest Feat

by Disembo



Category: Moana (2016)
Genre: Gen, Immortality, Maui & Moana Waialiki Friendship, Maui is a troll, Missing The Point, Moana Spring Exchange 2018, Moana gets mad, height insecurity, this is me trying to be funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 03:39:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14323755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Disembo/pseuds/Disembo
Summary: It’s a lovely day. Maui annoys Moana while she tries to have a serious conversation.





	The Greatest Feat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [peri-plumz](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=peri-plumz).



> So I decided to do something for the Moana Spring Break Exchange on Tumblr (check it out: https://moana-party.tumblr.com/).  
> My prompt from @peri-plumz was: Moana comforting Maui after a villager’s indirect comment 
> 
> Hope you like it!  
> 

It was one of those times – and there weren’t many of those times – when Maui found himself wondering at how quickly he’d gotten used to freedom. And the thousand years spent alone with nothing but his thoughts seemed another thousand years past. He was amazed. They had been so easy to forget. But on days like this, with the breeze just right, the sky so clear, the sea so lazily lapping at the shore where Moana stood chatting with an old villager (who had also given him a very nice mango), it would dawn on him just how good it was to be alive.

Still, he had to ask.

“What was that?”

Moana looked up from some rocks she was inspecting. “What was what?”

Maui jerked his head towards the young coconut palms which the villager had disappeared past only moments ago. “That guy. What’s with him? Is he alright?”

Moana’s lips curled in an unsure, puzzled smile. “Yeah..?” she said, tilting her head. “Why are you asking?”

“He seemed kinda weird.”

“ _Weird?_ ”

 _Whoops_. Maui waved his hands, laughing good-naturedly. “I mean, I’m not saying – I’m not calling your people weird-”

“Uh, you kind of just did.”

Yeah, good job, Maui-hero-to-all. “No really, he seems like a good guy. I appreciate the mango. I just thought he was acting a bit weir- um. Funny.” That was so much clearer now. “That’s all.”

“Really?” Moana seemed to think  _he_  was the weird one. She looked at him with her forehead crinkled. “I didn’t notice. Why’d you think he was weird?” Then her face lit up, mischief in her eyes. “Was it because he gave you that mango? I could have it if you don’t want it.”

 _Hah!_  “No,” Maui said casually, cradling the mango to his chest. “No, it’s okay. The mango was a gift. It would be rude if I gave it away. Nice try, though.” And he took a big bite of sweet yellow flesh, which was delicious.

Moana snorted, turned, and resumed skipping rocks into the ocean. Maui watched her, savouring his mango, thinking idly of how far  _he_ could throw rocks. He wondered if he could reach another island. Probably. He wouldn’t be surprised. Would Moana be surprised? He wasn’t sure – but impressed? Definitely impressed. He considered showing off. It had been a while since he’d done something new, something unexpected. Which reminded him:

“Hey, what did he mean by the thing he said-”

“Who?”

“The guy. What did he mean by the thing he said-”

“What thing?”

“That thing just now.”

“But everything he said was just now.”

Maui nearly rolled his eyes. “Just now when we met.”

“But you just met!”

Was she doing this on purpose? “When you introduced me!” Maui said, trying not to sound too exasperated. “You know, you were like, Maui, this is Mango-Guy, and I-”

“Did you already forget his name?”

“ _Nooo_ ,” said Maui, irritated at the interruption. “I didn’t forget his name…”

Moana slowly raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure…?”

“…because I never  _learned_  it.”

There were a few seconds of silence before Moana found her voice. “Maui, you’re  _unbelievable_.”

Maui grinned. “I know. I get that from humans all the time.” And he picked mango fibres from his teeth while Moana grew red.

“That’s not what I meant, you horrible, smarmy, gross-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” said the demigod, thoroughly enjoying the about-to-explode look on the girl’s face. “Please, Princess. I appreciate the compliments, but enough about me.”

Moana dipped a hand into the ocean and flicked seawater at him.

“Hey!” Maui scrambled, guarding his mango. Moana yelled more insults at him. “Stop that!” he said, and seawater landed in his hair. “Okay!” He threw up his hands and Moana stopped splashing. Still, the little terror glared as though she could gut him with her stare. Maui tried to move as little as possible.

“Okay,” he breathed. “I admit I had it coming. But you interrupted me!”

“ _When?_ ”

“Uh, when I was  _talking?_ Obviously?”

 _Uh oh,_  thought Maui, watching Moana angrily wade further into the sea. If she got the Ocean involved, it could take hours before his hair fully dried. He had to do something – say something. Come on, come on, what had they been talking about? Mangos? She’d called him gross. Was it because of mangos? No, it was-

“He was saying –  _Wait, wait!_  – Mango-Guy, he was saying – I think he was surprised?”

Well, that was not as eloquent as he would have liked it. Nevertheless, Moana paused midway through a crouch into the water. “What?”

Maui huffed. “He said something like – We were talking, right before you told me who he was – He said…I wasn’t what he expected? Something like that?” He thought it was something like that. “And I was trying to figure out what he meant. Which was why I didn’t catch his name,” he added lamely.

He watched as Moana slowly straightened up, a weird pensive look on her face. “Oh,” she said, and he did not like the sad, almost-pitying way she said it. “Oh Maui, is that it?”

“Uh, what do you mean,  _‘is that it’_? I mean,” Maui coughed, “it is. But, you know, it’s just a question. It’s no big deal.”

Powdery sand coated Moana’s feet as she made her way back to the shore. Now that the risk of getting splashed was much lower, Maui was quick to flop back down in the shade. He turned to his mango while the girl hummed a sigh beside him.

“You know,” she began, and he did not like the hesitant, delicate way she said it. He was a millennia-old demigod; he could look out for himself. Also, it was like he had told her – no big deal.

But he let her press on. “You know,” she had been saying, “for a thousand years, all we’ve known about you were stories. And we didn’t know all of them. And you already know that the ones we knew weren’t complete.”

Maui licked mango juice from his fingers. “You’re saying ‘know’ a lot.”

A flash of annoyance cut through Moana’s discomfitingly understanding expression, just for a little while. “I knew that.”

“You said it again.”

“I  _know._ ”

“It’s starting to sound weird.”

“Well, _what do you want me to_ \- ANYWAY,” said Moana, and the impatient, very irritated way she said it suited Maui much better. “What I’m saying is, there’s bound to be some…difference. Between what we expect and what you are. And that’s not a bad thing. I mean, look at me: Before we met, I thought you were going to be this smug, super-annoying show-off who…huh.” Moana tapped her chin in an exaggerated thinking gesture. “I guess I wasn’t wrong on that one.”

“Oh, very funny.”

“But that’s just me,” smiled Moana sweetly. “And that’s just one opinion.”

“That’s good to know. I feel so much better.”

“And who knows what everyone else expects of you?” continued Moana, dismissing his retort with a flapping of hands. “I mean, it might not even be important. They could expect all sorts of silly things like, oh, Maui can fly-”

“I  _can_  fly.” As a hawk, anyway.

“Or breathe fire.”

“I  _can_  brea-”

“ _YOU CAN?_ ” And suddenly Moana was up in his face, pure delight written on her features.

“…Sure.”

He couldn’t, really. Not really. It was simply a trick – albeit a very daring, dangerous one – that he’d learned a long way away, a long while ago. Still, he said to the girl, “One of these nights, when it’s really clear, I’ll show it to you.”

Moana screamed an incredibly high-pitched scream.

“Ow!” Maui said, covering his ears.

“Sorry!” Moana said, bouncing in place. “I’m so excited!”

Maui chuckled. Then, before Moana could do any more screaming (and also because he liked boasting about such things), he asked, “So what else did you think I could do?”

Still wiggling, Moana shrugged. “It’s not just me. The whole island’s asked about you at some point. I’m surprised they didn’t go to you themselves.”

“Hrmm, yeah, they did, actually. Some of them.” No one had asked him if he could breathe fire, though. Maui told her this and she responded with another shrug.

“Well, they thought all sorts of things,” she said somewhat defensively. “Like, they weren’t expecting you to be so big, or they didn’t realise your tattoos moved, or they imagined you taller or younger or moodier…”

Maui nearly dropped his mango. “Whoa, whoa, wait. What do you mean, taller?”

“It’s just something I heard.”

Well, this was crazy. This was ridiculous. “Why would they – I mean, I get the others. But taller? I’m already tall. How am I not tall?”

“Um. Maybe you don’t  _look_ tall?” suggested Moana.

“What does that even mean!”

Moana fidgeted. “You know, haven’t you ever met someone who’s tall, but doesn’t look like they’re tall? Like, if you look at them from far away, you think they’re short, but when you’re right next to them you realise they’re taller than you?”

“No. First of all, you don’t find a lot of people taller than me.”

“Well…You’re right,” admitted Moana helplessly. “But – come on, Maui, is this really getting to you? I thought if anything, you were going to say it’s weird to expect you to be younger.”

Maui insisted he was fine. “It’s just got me thinking – this is one thing I can’t do anything about. You want longer days? I can give you longer days. If your people wanted islands, I can try pulling up some more.”

“Okay…?” Moana blinked, frowning. “But we’re not asking you for anything.”

“You don’t get it.” Maui gestured to himself. “See, I don’t age. I’m at what’s supposed to be my peak. Forever. So if – for example – you think I should be taller, what do I have to do? I can’t do anything. This is the tallest I’ll get, I won’t grow anymore.” 

He paused, trying to come to terms with the fact. He didn’t think he could remember when he’d stopped growing. It wasn’t like it had been something sudden or significant. And as for whatever else he’d eventually come to realise he could not do, well, he’d leave those thoughts to some other time. He looked at Moana, who still had a few more years of growing to do, and shrugged. “I guess I’ll just have to let you catch up to me.”

Meanwhile, a look of comprehension had been slowly dawning on Moana’s face. “ _Oh,_ ” she whispered. With wide eyes, she laid a hand on his arm. And to Maui’s eternal puzzlement, she said, “Maui, I’m so sorry.”

Maui laughed hesitantly. “Okay, but why are…what’re you sorry for?”

Moana shook her head, looking immensely upset. “I don’t know why I…I should have realised. You must miss them.”

Now Maui was  _really_  confused. “Miss who?” he wanted to ask, but Moana answered first.

“All your friends, your – all the people you’ve met. Before.” She looked sad. So…sympathetic. And Maui finally realised what she was thinking.

_Oh._

_That._

He hadn’t been thinking about  _that._  He’d only wanted to say what was on his mind, and it certainly wasn’t  _that_  – though he did see now how Moana could have misinterpreted it. An unpleasant, itchy feeling prickled in his gut, one that had always gripped him in the face of things he’d rather not confront. Mortality. Staying behind. What-ifs and what-whens. He didn’t like to think about those things – he was used to living in the moment – he had so many moments to live, unlike – oh, now he was thinking about it, and also he’d made Moana think about it too, oh, wow, what a way for such a nice day to go.

And Moana was still waiting for his reply.

Steeling himself, he met her eyes and saw so much concern, so much sincere want for good, for him. And he admitted it, more to himself than to her. He did miss them, the countless he had met. And as for the countless he would miss, he would miss countless more. And still it would never take away from what he had back when they had met, when he did not have to miss them.

The poor girl clasped a hand to her heart, biting her lip, and Maui thought she was going to cry. Now that  _really_  wasn’t something he liked to think about. So he plopped his hand around her tiny shoulders and softly said, “Hey.”

Moana looked away.

“Hey, it’s okay, kid. You know, the people you care about never really leave you. Not even,” and he prodded her playfully, earning a weak protest, “irritating little chiefs’ daughters who won’t get off your back. Didn’t, uh…” – Who told the stories in this village? – “Didn’t your parents tell you that?”

Swallowing thickly, Moana managed a half-hearted smile. “My gramma did.”

“ _Aha!_ ” Maui laughed triumphantly, ruffling Moana’s hair as she squealed. “See? And grandmas are always right. Never had one of my own but I knew plenty of grandmas.”

Now Moana laughed that weird kind of laugh that sounded squeaky and sobby, but still, a laugh. Satisfied, Maui leaned back, making a few more jokes, doing his thing. The day was saved. They sat there, under the shade, while the Sun crept across the sky; Moana tracing patterns in the sand; Maui with his mango, which had gone mushy, the seed partially exposed.

“So…” Moana said before long. “How are you feeling?”

“ _Mmrfnnn_ ,” Maui mumbled, gnawing on mango seed. “Keep asking and you’re going to make us sad again.”

Moana scoffed. “You’re the one who started it!” Then, barely a moment later, “You sure you’re alright, though?”

Okay, now it was getting annoying. “Y-” Maui began, but then something much more fun and wicked popped into his mind. Instead, he moaned, as dramatically as possible, “Actually,  _no_. I said I was but I’m really not. That’s just to hide my true thoughts.”

“ _Pfft_ ,” said Moana, catching on at once. “Sure. I should’ve known.”

“Yeah,” the demigod declared. “And as soon as you let your guard down and look away, I’m going to go on a quest. An epic quest to make myself taller.”

Moana gasped in mock offense. “You’re going on a quest without me?”

“You’ll just slow me down, kid.” Maui winked and Moana scowled, genuinely this time, but was promptly distracted when he hopped to his feet, struck a self-important pose, and declaimed in a booming voice:

_“I, Maui, shapeshifter-demigod, shall sail seas and ride winds to every island I can find. I shall climb trees and hills and cliffs and demand audiences with the tallest and the wisest ones. And also the ones who are a little weak in will, but still tall. All to learn the secret to their height. And to achieve this, I’ll persuade these trees and hills and cliffs by making deals and promising impossible gifts and difficult favours that I may or may not deliver, depends on my mood._

_“And if that doesn’t work, I still have a backup plan which cannot fail. I shall find the biggest, tallest, strongest tree and knock it down with a swing of my hook. Then, with my bare hands I shall fashion the highest pair of stilts which I’ll wear on my feet. And when your people see me and cry in wonder, ‘O Maui, O magnificent hero, what’s with those great, huge things on your feet?’ I’ll tell them that this, O people of Motunui, is what you have asked for all this time. This here, this marvel, this splendour, this awe-inspiring sight you have over here, O people of Motunui, is my Greatest Feat:_

_“To have the greatest feet.”_

And Maui bowed with a flourish.

Moana looked like she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, and, so, decided on becoming angry instead. “That was not funny,” she said, her voice terrible and dangerous.

Maui rewarded himself with the rest of his mango, trying not to laugh at his own joke.

“It doesn’t even make any sense,” Moana seethed, getting less and less intelligible as her fury grew with the size of his grin. “You’re awful. I can’t believe it. I trusted you and you’re awful, you’re – I swear if you smile that dumb, mango-ey smile with your messy, mango-ey mouth on your messy, dumb face any longer I swear I’ll strangle you, I swear, you- you- ygnnaARRGH!”

Maui guffawed and choked on his mango.

“Too late!” he coughed through his tears. “Mango beat you to it!”

Moana rolled her eyes, thumping him on the back. “Serves you right,” she said. “Seriously,” she said. “That story, the height thing, the whole back-and-forth about expectations – all that, to set up a pun? Not to mention you MADE ME CRY!” And she whacked his back a touch more enthusiastically than was necessary.

“Hey! No, that wasn’t – I didn’t,” snuffled Maui, eyes and nose still stinging. He wiped bits of mango from his face. “That was – I meant that. And I really was wondering about the guy. And I  _did not_  know anyone expected me to be taller. Took me by surprise. How could I set it up?” Moana slowed, which he took to mean that she believed him. “And you can stop hitting me now, I’m not choking anymore.”

“You sure?” said Moana snippily. “Because I don’t mind going on for a little more, just in case, you know? For good measure.”

“’S alright, I’m good.” Maui said, settling himself heavily in the sand.

Moana poked him in the shoulder. “You know, you wouldn’t have choked if you’d just let me have that mango earlier.”

“Hey, this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t gotten the mango from the guy. And also if he hadn’t talked about expectations.”

“Oh, so all this is because of him? Funny. I never took  _him_  for a troublemaker,” Moana smirked, then she looked thoughtful. “Though he does say weird things sometimes. Did you know, there was one time, he told me he thought we should cook Hei-Hei.”

“Yeah? Were you trying to have the chicken raw all this time?”

As Moana stormed off towards the sea, Maui stood, turned, and ran for his life.

**Author's Note:**

> So I’m not really sure if there were such things as mangos and fire-breathing in the Moana Universe time and place, but…I really, really like mangos?
> 
> This turned out (and took) a lot longer than I’d planned. I haven’t written a fic in a while, and I took some time trying to get a feel for the characters and figuring out grammar, so feel free to point out what could be better! There were so many things I wanted to say, and so many more things I needed to write in order to say them. I also wasn’t sure what an indirect comment was, and I’m not the most comfortable with tackling angsty things, which was how I interpreted the prompt at first. So I was going to make the whole thing silly and lighthearted but it turned out this way. I hope it made you laugh, at least. (Let me know pls)


End file.
